One of the big buzz phrases in recent years is “giving yourself permission,” as in giving yourself permission to take care of yourself first, giving yourself permission to take a break from work, giving yourself permission to admit that all is not well in your life rather than always being strong and pretending otherwise.  These are all positive things, and letting yourself do these – and other things you’ve been too afraid/uptight/busy to allow yourself to do – is important.  But giving yourself permission may not always be such a good thing.

Just before my yoga class began earlier this week, my classmates and I got into a discussion about food. More specifically, those foods that we used to love, but since changing our eating habits, no longer liked. And the conversation turned toward pizza. One woman said that the tomato sauce now tasted too “manufactured” now that she had started eating only fresh vegetables. Another said that the entire taste of pizza was way too greasy. And on and on. Then the woman on the mat next to mine said, “But you have to give yourself permission to have pizza once in awhile if you like it. You can’t deprive yourself of everything you like.”

All well and good, I thought.

Then she went on to say, “I’m very good about giving myself permission. For instance, when I don’t feel like exercising, I give myself permission to skip my workouts. And since I hate seeing doctors, this year I gave myself permission to skip my yearly Gyn exam and mammogram. I think it’s healthy to break my routine occasionally when I feel like it.”

Whoa…

I looked around at the others in the class and they looked as surprised as I was feeling. Obviously because giving oneself permission can go too far, just as our classmate had demonstrated. Once you give yourself permission to break your routine once, it’s a slippery slope to not having a healthy routine at all.

No, it’s not a great idea to hold all your emotions in – so it’s healthy once in awhile to “give yourself permission” to let them out. By the same token, it’s not a good idea to give yourself permission whenever you feel like it to do unhealthy things.

So, moral of the story: be selective about what you give yourself permission to do. Put another way, if you’re going to give yourself permission to do something, make sure that it isn’t harmful. (And yes – this does apply to giving yourself permission to eat your way through the holidays with no limitations!)