My mother and father in law traveled all over the world, made great investments in real estate, spent time at the opera, museums and were up on all the latest plays in New York City. They were two of the more competent people you would ever meet. But, something happened when they both retired. Alzheimer’s disease raised its ugly head and my mother in law cannot recognize me. My father in law became her caregiver. He has taken care of her with patience and kindness, but now several years into her illness he is showing signs of Alzheimer’s disease as well.

I wondered if what was going on was major depression. However, the results of a recent study have given me insight. It appears that those who are married to dementia patients have an increased risk of developing it themselves. Husbands are at a greater risk than wives. They are twelve times more likely to develop dementia.

Researchers are not sure if the increased risk of dementia is due to caregiver stress or a shared environment. It is suspected that stress can actually destroy the part of the brain that is responsible for memory.

Watching what has happened to my in-laws has been horrifying. My father in law is stubborn and he refused help (until recently) in the care of his wife. I can only wonder if he could have avoided dementia himself if he had been willing to accept help. I think that his experience and that of countless spouses caring for dementia patients has shown us how important it is for all of us to pay attention and care for the caregivers.